This Is How You Say Goodbye is a razor-sharp memoir in which a young woman travels to Cambodia, Sweden, and France to overcome the legacy of her difficult and charismatic father…


“… the memoir moves between past and present and is told in frank, detailed narrative marked by irony, heartache and humor.” — The Sacramento Bee


“In this moving memoir, her first book, Loustalot paints a portrait of a man stoic in the face of quiet suffering. By turns sweet and heart-wrenching, she writes with courage and candor about bidding her beloved father a final farewell.” — Booklist


“Eloquent . . . gently probing . . . Loustalot’s careful, deliberative prose delineates a young woman’s arduous passage to self-realization.” — Publishers Weekly


“An intimate portrait of a bittersweet father-daughter relationship … [Loustalot’s] adventure makes for compelling reading.” — Kirkus Reviews


“Victoria Loustalot’s memoir will resonate with anyone who has ever tried to resolve the complexities of an enigmatic parent, or plumb what lies at the heart of the filial bond. Her uncommon intelligence, wit, and compassion shine through in this beautifully realized memoir. Loustalot is a beguiling writer and This Is How You Say Goodbye a smashing debut.” — Alexandra Styron, author of Reading my Father


This Is How You Say Goodbye is a remarkable accomplishment. A riveting narrative that lays bare how important it is to come to terms with the past, this honest and heartrending memoir is for everybody who has ever tried to find his or her place in their family-and in the world.” — Julie Klam, New York Times bestselling author of You Had Me at Woof and Friendkeeping


“In lyrical, thoughtful, often humorous prose, Victoria Loustalot searches for her father, who came out as gay when Victoria was only seven and died from AIDS too young. Her search takes her to many continents and lovers, all as she attempts to understand her own relationship to intimacy. What Loustalot has written is a love story – a moving, aching love story to the father she never knew. It will resonate for all who have loved and lost, and who wish to heal.”
— Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity